4 of a kind

Change my Heart

Nothing feared and hope left to spare, exhaustion overwhelms – you are too far from me. Not seeing that which captivates, forgetting your voice, losing grip of your touch. It matters more than anything but here I am, running again, ignoring just how much you love me and how alive I feel in your tender embrace. But something tells me it’s not enough and I’m stupid enough to believe. Why? I don’t know. Is there ever a reasonable answer to such a question? You love me with purity and truth but you are not naïve to my deceptions. But your grace is magnified by the depths of my shame when I return to you. Teach me to flee your presence no more. Help me to stand beside you and hunger only to be held more tightly. Change my heart. I see your beauty and this reflection pales… lead me home that I might reveal the same light as you.

Time Creeps Forward

Sliding by the winds whisper and say how old I am today.
Once it was a joke by now it seems that slowing fading are my dreams.
Captive in a foreign land, led carefully by a strong, gentle hand.
Never forced – I give all my trust – since obey truth I must.
Lines and wrinkles, deaf and blind, sill I see and hear all I left behind.
None of that matters though, just as long as I know you love me so.
Time is endless with you, if the words you wrote are true.
So let the end draw near, nothing in life do I dare hold so dear
for everything I want and need, every little word and deed,
speak louder than any shout. It is you I can’t live without.
Advance! Advance I say! For birth and death are just another day.

Dichotomy

It is a strange sensation to be somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be, but somewhere you have to be. It is a part of your destiny and there you are living it out, only you wonder when it happened and why and when it will end and what is next or if this is it.

So strange it becomes impossible to fathom all the good that has happened here. Not just for me, but to all those I’ve met and how I’ve seen them open up and grow in smiles and hope, and perhaps more.

Some I cannot explain simply because I do not know how or you must experience it yourself. Deep inside, you know when the stars align and the words are right and life is whole – nothing is missing, though you may want more still – this is a natural tendency to all.

And so here I am, a million miles away, missing my friends and family, embracing my new life, living completely and whole and wholly free by a will that also is free. And I do what is right and what I’m supposed to do. Some might call that a dichotomy. I call it just right.

Let it go

Stealing my heart and my mind, I let it all go,
just to be here, right now, just so I can show
the light o this life,
the strength of this soul;
just to know of peace,
just to hear you love me so.
Much more than I have ever know,
more than anyone has ever dared.
You were never afraid of me,
you were never ever scared.
But just to be here, right now, so I can show
the light of this life and the strength of this soul,
to finally know peace and to hear you say, “I love you so.”
What more could I dream? How loud must I scream?
You’ve stolen my heart.
You’ve stolen my mind.
My will? My all? My everything?
To you I let it go.