Parasite

Please give me what I don not deserve. I am idle and unwilling - in fact... pay me to watch you build my 3 new houses, and give me a job too - but not where I have to do anything. And I'll need to come in late, leave early, take a long lunch, and have many coffee and cigarette breaks. I probably can't actually help you because you're a foreigner, and I don't really want to learn, but i'll have someone drive into your car and make you pay for the damages if I can't drive your car. But if you let me I'll probably just have a distant friend do it. Except I really never learned how to drive - I just hopped on a motorcycle at age 9 and went. Can I have some gas money? No... more than that; yes, the receipt will be for the exact amount you gave me - no change, sorry... Do I have to get up? Can I leave the air conditioning running in the car all day while I enjoy it and do nothing? I need more gas money. I have to go pray. Again. Again. Now I need a coffee break to stay awake. Hold on, I have to take this call. Feed me. I'll just help myself. Unless you'll do it for me. "Thank you?" I'm the suffering victim - why would I say that??? Oh, I hate all foreign devils - give me more money. I have to go pray.