Easter poetry

Dinner with friends
Drink and eat, for you must soon understand
that the order from my father is one final demand.
Soon we shall part, and then with a start
you'll cry, and mourn, but you must take heart.
Washing you now – know you are clean –
for a savior you know – it’s him you have seen.
Do as the teacher shows, no servant is greater,
so do not disobey now or sooner or even later.
This body will break – for you it must.
This blood a covenant bond you shall trust.
Go – ignoring the hate – it is the same;
I know it well, such is the price of this fame.
I am the way; I’m the truth and the life,
and though you may not get it now, you are my wife.

Gardens at night
Tears flowing like blood,
sorrow sinking like mud,
purpose sure,
loving life pure.
Giving all for life,
fearful of such strife,
not quite ready for the knife,
agape for chosen wife.
Another could do this, not true?
Why not another, why me and you?
Do not abandon, won’t survive if you do.
Almost ready to be unleashed to the zoo.
All this must happen, musn’t it?
My friends won’t survive the bottomless pit.
Remind them to not turn back or wait and sit;
make their hearts pure, minds sound, and spirits fit.
So much awaits, but the end so daunts;
what nightmares I’ve had, a vision that haunts.
Soon ears will hear reckless and vicious taunts;
but no reply will they receive – though it is one of their wants.
Rising, lights awaken me to the end,
they come to take me, men for whom I did not send.
This evil, from a brother who I knew upon not to depend,
for such is the vision I know of lambs I would tend.
Chains and beatings begin,
the kiss to seal the sin,
a battle they cannot win.
Ready as I’ll ever be, I am in.

Friday, before dawn
Cursed and condemned by those who think they know,
betrayed by a brother, now the rest don’t even show –
another denying three times before turning to go,
a world drowned in madness, ruled by an evil shadow.
But all are cast by a reflection inside.
All listen not to the father, bit opinions far and wide.
But no force can turn back the coming tide,
and it is for this that innocence will have died.
The keys lie far below, eyes see now true.
The pain must be suffered, and done so for you.
The burden is mine and has always been;
this is the cost of life, the wage for sin.
Do not forget to reopen the door.
In three days you’ll see what was in store.
Comprehension will arrive that night,
And then you can choose to follow what is wrong or what is right.

Morning sickness (Friday after dawn)
Thirty-nine cattails.
Bleeding crown of thorns.
Fist upon fist to face, side and below.
Kicks to the groin, the nightmare still to go.
Lies and screams.
Spit and beams.
Torn wounds from skin dried and peeled.
Ground into sand and dust and mud and steel.
Strength destroyed.
Lungs no longer buoyed.
Commanded to walk,
but unable to talk.
Endless despair,
sweat profuse from mangled hair.
God, I want to die,
But first I must be raised on high.

Carrying the cross
Endless weight, the race to be run.
All has been stripped away; I am finished – I am done.
Fallen – again, orders to a man to help me, to finish.
Thirst and hunger nothing compared to pain mothers do not wish;
everything fails – the hill too steep.
Suddenly upon it I long to weep.
Laid down to rest, a pull to the side, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHH! NO, PLEASE, STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raised up for all to see. Naked. Can’t breathe. Father forgive them.
The know not what they do. Into your hands I submit my spirit.
It is finished.

Saturday
Just another day in the pits of hell.
Man it’s hot, and – oh! – the smell!
If I had ice, I’d surely sell,
but I’m out of here tomorrow; just as well.

Risen
Doors opened. Nothing remains. Not robbed, just… gone.
Vanished as promised, but forgetful followers weep needlessly.
Memories run short, fears rise, promises seem to disappear.
Old lives renewed, old habits not quite dead,
hearts that fail, three years of sweat and tears like smoke.
Taking flight the journeys lead them right back to him.
He is the one – the only one – the coming king,
the beginning and the end;
he who must be named to the gatekeeper for admittance.
He is the sacrificial lamb, whose pure blood lines were pure,
whose true heart was true,
whose loving spirit was love,
and whose life was for all but his own.
Risen as he promised he must be.
Risen as the prophets foretold.
Risen as God may not remain in any box.
He is risen.
Seek ye first his kingdom.
Honor and prostrate yourself before him and no other.
His judgment is fair and true and full of grace.
And he shall judge.
His blood was required.
And so it was paid.
The sacrifice.
In debt to him.
Gladly done, through unbearable pain.
He never lied.
He is risen indeed.

riding on the back of a motorcycle

Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle and shut your eyes? The feeling is so eerie - I was at the complete mercy of the driver's will. The wind and the sounds... I FELT the cars and other motorcycles around me. It is a silent helplessness that I can't quite describe, only somehow I think I feel it all the time when I travel. It's like I'm being led around sometimes into really cool adventures, but... it's still scary, you know?
But I just have to learn to trust the driver.

Me and my shadow

Playing in Foz de Iguacu

or Iguacu Falls (amazing, btw) at the corner or Brazil, Argentina & Paraguay

Behind these hazel eyes

Forward again, a world that spins and cycles fast, dreams that never fade, and no time to breathe. Thoughts endless and wondering and traveling from everywhere across the world, never knowing what is happening - friends dying, loves disappeared, decisions right, pain and sadness drunk with joy and gladness. A world left to see - worlds left behind; full in life but throttle full forward to the wall approaching... no turning back - the screams are mine in delight and dismay; brown eyes open big and behind them lies truth that many fear. See? It is their screams and not mine. It is their fears, but it is my burden. Cast aside and shared, but the aches are not forgotten. Still it is the happiness I sing that my friends hear and know deep inside.

i love this stuff

you have got to read this:
http://independent-bangladesh.com/news/jan/14/14012006ed.htm#A6

then again, did THAT happen too?

breaking apart into tears i cannot cry, tears that make me fly, joy that cannot bear, and a life that is but isn't fair. Love that burns and moves and shakes, love that breathes, and lives and quakes. truth that rings and hands that hold, grips let loose as life continues to unfold. prayer and blessing that make us move on, a hope in the true god, his spirit, his son. trembling now i must hold back, this dam shall not break, this rope shall not slack. strength not from within but above, strength that is more glorious and powerful than any because it is love. she made me see, she made me believe, she proved what you said; now i know, now i trust, now perhaps i have fully risen from the dead. these ashes that scattered are not mine i know, because the sweet fragrance is heavenly and fills me with glow. dreams that magnify to the journey i follow, a smile that will never frown now - it shall always show. thank you thank you thank you and know that you have been a gift. though none but me may understand, between us was never a rift. restored now into wholeness and life, I won't say what rhymes with this, but, you know, you know, don't you, goodbye and sweet dreams - good night!

ok, I can talk about this now

sadness may linger, but pain in humility that focuses into humble power becomes a greatness that can not be stripped away

Please see this amazing article by a father which I think is just really cool in the aftermath of a sad but true USC loss to Texas, who played an amazing game. And by that I mean Vince Young:

http://usc.scout.com/2/486987.html

DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?

the beautiful game

soccer news:
Who will win:

WORLD CUP 2006

BRAZIL

5 Stars (1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, 2002) for 5 titles...

After Germany,
Where will they put the sixth star???

It's such a pretty jersey





La Liga (Spanish League)
BARCELONA
(one of my favorite cities in the world)

2 weeks here will likely change your life. The architecture, the food, the beaches, the mountains, the people...
It is such a beautiful city and I hope to return one day to visit


and... who won't win:
WORLD CUP 2006
(but I hope they do REALLY WELL! If they could win the group and avoid Brazil they have a shot to go far!) USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!


Serie A (Italian League)
A.S. ROMA
(one of my other favorite cities in the world)

Quake, Sue & Nami

EARTHQUAKE & TSUNAMI INFO LINK TO THIS
Do you remember where you were on Dec. 26, 2004? Cause it was Christmas night in America...

Welcome: 2006

it's been a different sort of year

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"The choice between what is right, and what is easy."
Fire. Swords. Grief and sadness. Separated if only by an inch from madness.
Fear. Lies. Torments that once again rise. The difference between what I want and what my destiny is.
Right. Wrong. Knowing a challenge but choosing hidden shame.
None can see what was not done for another will stand in the place where wars had to be won.
A life worth living, a cause worth sacrificing and dying for - a love which must and always has been.
A choice. A vision. A dream. Costs counted and the prize now in sight.
Armor at ready. Strength and courage summoned from a spirit more holy and pure. Since the dawn of time, since freedom was born, since truth is.

"It's all going to change now, isn't it?"
Everything once known has now passed on to the next. The life once lived has faded into dreams where joys once commonly known have been replaced by far surpassing joys mingled with greater sufferings.
Former fires have shifted to new homes and worlds where new everythings are learned so that new heights might be scaled.
There is no time to look back in regret anymore. There is no chance to change what has been done. Advancing upon new treasures of clay and soul, new lights and lives, new wonders to explore and become.
Missing that which I love, but not missing out on that which is beloved. Purifying and forging new blades that cut deeper to free souls from the boundaries which imprison. It all has to change, and it must start right now.

"The Edge of Tears"
Seeing action, sacrifice, living, dying, here I sit and stare wondering if I shall beware or dare to care for something greater still. My hope in the greatest of all things but a tear springs and glistens in a shining sun beneath a cloudless sky that bids me farewell.
Pain and joy ringing in ears that sear with echoes of lives fading into the mist, drowning in waters that I cannot save them from. Heartbeats pulsing to the quick before finally halting beneath black waves.
Sudden is the sadness that knows no such grief yet cannot help but be broken and unable to cope right alongside with those so capable.
This dance is everlasting and I am never so alone. Though none may ever truly understand still I pray that some may want to, that some would envelope my suffering in their souls and imagine in their minds eye and so too weep with me for the loves lost and the friends buried and the enemies who but killed themselves upon their own sword and anger and lies.
Captive to such a prison these shackles do not hold me for the golden key possessed washes red clean over me into an abyss of life that sings under stars shining so bright even the blind could see if bothered to look. Still turning away my smile comes with a heavy price that carries me to far off lands and burdens requiring time to release.
These tears I cry are real, and dearly, though strong might I be, on the verge of salty oceans I always am.

The Night Before

Two days before Christmas and all through the land every creature is stirring - each with their own demands; some want peace, and others want money; still there are those who seek power, and fame, a few just glory. But more than all these there is a cry, a shout, for the one thing all of us want, what we can't do without.
Before the dawn of time and all things came to be there was truth, and spirit, a power that created all we see. There was a cost, though, for all that was done; you see, evil came to be, and its champion believed he had won.
But the author knew better. His right hand was strong, and he had a plan - in fact, there was one ready all along.
So, many years later, when the clock struck right, there came a savior to this world, one whose words were pure like light!
Love arrived, in a package few were aware, but this love came to sacrifice out of choice - not a dare. He lived perfect, and died the same, and love forgave his enemies - evil's champion lost the game.
Now the land still cries and shouts, but love has come, and we must acknowledge without doubt. To so so we must act, we must no longer lie; we must give, and help, and serve, and so love.
Sometimes, we must die.

FOLLOW ME

I will take you everywhere and anywhere - just follow me; you'll see: what your heart desires is to be free and full and happy. Doubt not that for the rest of my days I will strive to make this happen - just follow me; I will never hurt you or lead you astray. I will never for an instant forget you or lose sight of how precious you are to me. Follow me and we will discover your destiny together, no matter where... everywhere. Follow me, can't you see? i live to see your smiles and hear your laughter and know you more. Without you I will - I must - go on, but will search for you until it is too late. So follow me. Follow me and I shall not fail you, for this love is a gift for you. I love you. Can't you see? Please, follow me.

"I surrender"

thanks Greg Wong for this photo. Made me laugh all day.


"You got me, I'll go back quietly"
"So what are you going to bluescreen me onto?"
"Look mister, I swear i didn't touch your wife!"
"Now, mom, is there really a need for a strip search?"
"Since when is having a nice hairdo such a crime?"
"Man, I knew I forgot to put on clothes today!"
"Up, up and away!!!!!!!!! Wait, where's my cape?"

Thanksgiving

mom, dad, dan

turkey and cranberry sauce on the other side of the world.

laughter

soccer

USC football

amazing and supportive friends across the globe

sunsets on the beach

doing what i'm meant to be doing right now

Jesus

the ability to think and reason logically

the ability to have fun and go crazy from time to time

music, singing, art: dance, poetry, writing, painting, photos

opportunities to love and serve

freedom

free will

hope

faith

love

family

taking risks like seeing the world and being rewarded with sheer amazement at seeing the encyclopedia before my very eyes.

finishing a journal gifted to me by my two great New Years newlywed friends

having had long talks with Kevin and Mark before I left

the book of Mark, Hosea, Daniel, the psalms, Galatians, Hebrews, Isaiah, Genesis, Exodus, Judges, Ruth, Esther, Revelations, etc.

getting to read Harry Potter in English over the Pacific, and having so many teachers of my new language

driving

winter on the equator

students who wonder where I am and worry when I will leave

soccer jerseys

purified water that is actually necessary

email

blogs

smiles

forgiveness

grace

a new day

sight, hearing, health

surprises

giglling

inspiring movies

contentment and satisfaction

adventure

dreams

life

bali beach

unscripted unrehearsed

don't you ever just wonder what it's like to type and not look back or think and wonder where in the world you are and why everyone seems to have forgotten you except all your new friends who don't and won't and can't understand you because your old life doesn't belong in the new one and they think different thoughts and see different things about you that even you can't believe? i sit and stare and pray and hope and dream and answer questions about life that they can't even fathom: a jewish father and catholic mother and a path devoted to the messiah that has taught understanding and world view that they can't even conceive because they're so absolutely opposed to any truth than what they've been ordered to believe. and even my mom is quite the same and doesn't want to consider that god is more that the words a priest speaks and though she works to love i see the fear and despair in her life that just shouldn't be. and my dad doesn't care. and my brother doesn't want to invest in this freedom that i have and it is all about choice. but my students choose to not choose apparently because palestine is a land of ishmael and not isaac even though its the land of abraham. facts not fiction must be known. foolish anger and sudden questioning and revealed is my truth before them all and now i wonder what ramifications will appear. and truly i don't care because, well, i just don't. truth is truth. i have studied truth for twenty years and been applauded and condemned every single time. I know both sides of the story and so see the deeper truth: the path of peace and love and sacrifice that is SO much harder than anger and hate and pride and obtusity. my voice echoes in outer space and my screams die in silence. perhaps so too will i but my friends love me and so does god and so i love them and all and even those who would be my enemies. circles of life end in death. perhaps it is time to look past all the fears and all the mortgages and debts and clothes and cars and the way we are taught to live and instead live the way we are supposed to live in truth: one that will require great sacrifice but be rewarded 10, 20, or even a hundredfold; and maybe not here but in the time to come. Blessed are the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the hungry, the needy, the lonely - they will be comforted by the almighty and all loving creator of the universe itself who lives and breathes and even dies for those he loves if they would just stinking figure it out and believe and live. even if it means they die soon. hey, we all die eventually.

a tribute to Rosa Parks

Refusal

Again and again I come around to the question – why does no one accept me just as I am? why must I succumb and become less than I am because others do not – cannot – see? No, it should not be this way. I will fight. Here I will remain – sitting for all to see because I am so tired.
Humiliated day after day by people who just do not understand my sufferings, can’t comprehend much of anything really. They have no want to understand or even follow the truth and righteousness they so boldly claim to believe.
Unable to shed a tear for my captors, unable to succumb to the evils that cover this land and seek to dominate my life.
I REFUSE. DO YOU HEAR ME? I refuse to accept less than I deserve. I refuse to be less than who I am. and though I might do so alone, and though I may die, I REFUSE.
You hear nothing else, perhaps now you will finally be able to hear and see your own evil reflection.